I’ve never really given much thought about what I would consider the perfect crime. I’m not exactly ambitious so it probably wouldn’t extend much further then trying to purchase comics for my collection without Anna’s knowledge. She watches the movies and the Wii games like a hawk after all, so if I want to buy something perfectly crappy without having to listen to her grumble to me about it comics are really my only legitimate avenue of deception. Hey, I already feel guilty about buying Spider-Man comics, I don’t need her adding to my own self-imposed lecture.

Now sure, I found the whole Brand New Day storyline interesting at first, as writing out Mary Jane was the kind of huge shakeup that might recover the comic from the truly terrible Civil War storylines I had previously suffered through. But the whole concept has quickly stagnated, resulting in what now appears as nothing more then a blatant attempt at erasing everything J Michael Straczynski had written over the length of his tenure.

Now I know JMS wasn’t exactly popular with the Marvel fanboys. I mean really, attempting to add more depth to a character that was over 40 years old was simply unacceptable. Marvel and its fans simply would rather have numerous Spider-Man books that follow a basic plot by numbers arc rather then suffer through something that might actually result in a new experience for both the character and the reader.

(more…)

Evidently some people liked this movie, I did not. In fact, I would call it one of the worst horror films ever made, and because of that you now have the opportunity to win my copy of a movie that takes The Little Shop of Horrors seriously. Sounds awesome doesn’t it?

To enter you simply have to email me: matt.gamble at wherethelongtailends dot com

In the subject line write: Feed me Seymour!

Then simply  tell me why you liked this pile of excrement so that I know how to properly focus my rage in your general direction. Or simply lie and say you just want a free movie. Whichever seems most reasonable.

Contest ends July 31.

Time to announce the winner of the Grizzly Rage DVD Contest, and the winner is Joseph Demme of Cinexcellence. Be sure to check out his site and offer your condolences to him for claiming this “prize”.  For those of you that missed out on this terrible film, you are in luck, in the next few days I will be announcing my next giveaway of a bad movie.

Until then, I give you this ridiculous screen shot of the digital blood used in Grizzly Rage that was used to signify someone dying. That’s right, they didn’t actually show anyone being killed, they merely photoshopped horribly fake blood being splattered onto the “camera lens” instead.

That is how bad this movie is.

Just one more week until Grizzly Rage is given away. Check the contest rules for details on how to win your free copy of a horrible Canadian movie about a Grizzly suffering from post-partum depression. I know plenty of Canadians read this site, so how about you show a little pride and support the arts huh?

Grizzly Rage is the universally known tale of a girl and three boys driving into the Canadian wilderness where they recklessly run over a helpless bear cub, only to discover the cub’s mother is a tad upset at this development. Sounds totally awesome right? It’s not. But don’t take my word for it, enter the contest and even you might have a chance at sharing my pain/opinion.

This month’s contest is simple, send me an email at matt.gamble at wherethelongtailends dot com.

Put in the subject line - Gimmie free stuff!

Then all you have to do is tell me how you found the site. It’s that simple and this terrible film can be yours to own. Contest ends June 27th.

Just putting out a quick reminder that this month’s contest ends on Friday. Send your emails in on recommendations for the site or films you want me to review and you’ll get a free poster and possibly even more.