You probably haven’t noticed since the ad campaign hasn’t quite started up yet, but Picturehouse is releasing a remake of The Women, the 1939 film about a group of wealthy Manhattan socialites who have nothing better to do then talk about the men all the live long day. The remake is directed by Diane English and stars Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett Smith, Candice Bergen, Cloris Leachmen, Bette Midler, Carrie Fisher and seemingly every person in Hollywood who has a vagina. Hold on a minute Larry Wachowski and Eddie Izzard. It seems you still have some luggage that isn’t allowed to be carried on this set.

You see The Women is a movie that doesn’t have a single male in its cast, and when it was originally made in 1939 this was viewed as pretty progressive stuff. But with a plot that is entirely dependent on these women talking about the men in their lives as if they can’t do anything or go anywhere or talk about anything else except men, it now has the detrimental effect of making women look like shallow idiots who are incapable of being independent from the male members of their lives. And that isn’t all.

In a stunning display of idiocy that I can scarcely comprehend, who should play the role of Mary Haines, a woman who is struggling to recover from the news her husband is having an affair as her friends rush to her aid in a time of crisis, but none other then Meg Ryan. A woman who was publicly vilified for … wait for it … cheating on her husband Dennis Quaid with saucey Aussie Russell Crowe on the set of Proof of Life.

But it’s not like anyone will remember that right? Sure Meg Ryan utterly sunk her career as one of the biggest stars in Hollywood with that collosal blunder, and yes she totally fled the Hollywood scene in an attempt to not have to continually hear about her adulterous ways but I’m sure women have totally forgot about it by now. I mean, it is not like women are known for remembering such betrayal, and they certainly wouldn’t remind you over and over and over again about it to make sure you know that they know that you know that they know that Meg Ryan is a slut.

I mean, even the slightest measure of due diligence should have come to the conclusion that remaking The Women may not only not be a very good idea, but is just plain stupid.

The Women trailer

It isn’t often that I struggle to think of an adequate and fitting intro for one of my reviews. I take a lot of pride in trying to find interesting, odd and hopefully unique ways of introducing a reader to the review I am writing. Now sure, sometime I will have the occasional beef with writer’s block but it has yet to result in anything more then a rather minor skirmish with frustration. Often times it even allows me to look at my review from a slightly altered perspective, and that is all that I need to connect with the proper delivery system. But as I write this review I am sitting here, humbly before you, with nothing to offer. Not even a single solitary rambling take that inexplicably turns into a bridge for my review.

Sure, I could tell you about how I went to watch The Strangers this evening, and rather then enjoying the film, I found the most entertaining moment of the entire 90 minutes was when I watched Derek Jeter making a drunken fool out of himself in the theater lobby. I could tell you about that, but since last week’s intro was about my less then eloquent brush with Eddie Izzard it would feel hopelessly like a retread of my previous intro. Kind of like how it felt watching The Strangers.

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