Living in the Tampa Bay area as a kid, I had three possibilities to watch horror movies on Saturday afternoons: Shock Theater, Creature Feature, and Commander USA’s Groovie Movies. Shock Theater was on the ABC affiliate and started with some psychedelic graphics accompanied by an ominous voice over. It was pretty simple and to the point, and a great introductory show for little kids like me who wanted desperately to watch horror movies without losing sleep later. While it wasn’t the most exciting way to spend the afternoon, I credit Shock Theater for educating me with what seemed like the entire Universal Pictures library.

After a couple of years watching Shock Theater, I finally managed to change the channel to start watching Creature Feature. This local show was hosted by Dr Paul Bearer – as played by the affable Dick Bennick – a crazy-eyed pall bearer who drove a hearse and had a creepy laugh. Before and after commercial breaks, Dr Paul Bearer would have short skits and discuss the movie – sometimes mocking, sometimes pointing out the good stuff. The movies shown were usually Hammer and Godzilla movies. While these movies weren’t exactly the most frightening movies ever seen, they were in color and appeared far more contemporary than the movies I was used to over at Shock Theater. Even better, unlike Shock Theater, Creature Feature usually showed two movies instead of one. And while that was great and all, eventually I didn’t find Dr Paul Bearer’s movies to be scary enough.

And this is how I discovered Commander USA’s Groovie Movies on USA.

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Along with several staff members at my theater, we have recently decided that we are going to write up a variation of the “Laminate list”. The Laminate List goes by all sorts of different names, but is generally known as the list of 5 celebrities that one is allowed to sleep with. But rather then this be a list about sleeping with people, we decided that we wanted to make it more of a fan list styled phone tree. So that if one of your Top 5 celebrities happens to come into the theater and you are not working, you would get a phone call and be provided the opportunity to stop in to the theater and possibly actually get to meet them.

Now at most places of business this would be a completely frivolous list. More of a way to pass the time and ignore whatever it is you are supposed to be doing. But I work at a movie theater in a relatively major metropolitan city. Celebrities are actually a fairly regular occurrence here in Minneapolis. A handful call the area home, and countless others swing on buy during their various tours, press meetings, or even being paid to party at our nightclubs.

Unfortunately, of the three Landmark Theaters in town mine is by far the least hip and the furthest away from the cultural epicenter that is Uptown. Because of this our level of celebrities tends to be rather low. Sure we got Bai Ling that one time, but who hasn’t had her? Or then there was the time Ned Beatty hung out for an afternoon, which was cool, but he also did it in part because he was trying to get us to sell his new CD. Which, by the way, was entirely devoted to him singing Gospel songs. I’m pretty sure we still have a case of them lying around somewhere. But outside of that we haven’t garnered much higher then the Minneapolis Mayor or local Sportscaster Mark Rosen.

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I’m proud to announce my newest feature, Dare to be Stupid. The goal is for this to be my forum for posting general editorial rants, musings, or even just odd things that I find on the Web that just might be movie related. The goal is to post this feature regularly, though how regularly I do not know. Some of the editorials I am actually going to attempt to show a bit of journalistic integrity and actually research my subjects. Novel I know.

As for the title of the feature, I’m sure some of you are wondering just what I mean by it. It basically is a philosophy that I do not live by, but wish more often that I did. Their is something to be said for people and events that take risks to be great, knowing full when that in hindsight they could look utterly stupid. It’s to those who will risk everything for the opportunity to look stupid that is the inspiration for this feature. And with that I give you my first foray into the unknown, thanks to legendary guitarist Nigel Tufnel of the in-famous (i.e. more then famous) rock band Spinal Tap who recently sat down with National Geographic to discuss his expertise on Stonehenge.

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