While the first two selections in this most prestiges of columns focused solely on comedic moments, with this entry I have chosen something from the horror genre. Oh sure it lacks the absurd silliness and downright addicting goofiness of the others, but counteracts that by being one of the biggest “WTF?” moments you are likely to ever see.

Adapted from a comic book of the same name 30 Days of Night has a killer initial premise, that of a sleepy Alaskan town that is about to besieged by 30 consecutive days of night as well as a troupe of blood thirsty vampires, as well as making the smart decision of doing its best to siphon off the genius of artist Ben Templesmith by keeping fairly close to his frantic and visceral work when it comes to the films art direction, specifically in the rather unique look of the vampires.

But besides mimicking the look of these fiends, 30 Days of Night also takes another inspired step with the particular sounds it uses for the vampires, which can only be described as a cross between a shriek and a Velociraptor mating call. Unfortunately, the film wastes much of what it has going for it with bad pacing, poor acting and incredibly repetitive scenes. But just when you think the film can’t get any more boring, it turns and unloads an absurdly brilliant and disturbing death scene, marking this as one of the Greatest Moments in Cinema History.

Recently I’ve been tossing around the idea of starting up a regular feature that would highlight some of the films that I’ve run across in my film watching career that I adore for no discernible explanation. That is, no explanation until now.

For now I will highlight the competently ridiculous, the oddly perverse and hopefully the drug-addled genius of some truly awful movies that hurt so good. For these movies truly represent the greatest moments in cinema history.

Our inaugural edition highlights one of the most bizarre and possibly frightening films you are bound to encounter. A film so vile, so lewd and so inspired that it could only come from a man who was destined to become one of the biggest director’s in Hollywood, that being Peter Jackson. This movie marks both his creative peak AND nadir, resulting in a movie that is bound to fell anyone without the strongest of stomachs, though a complete lack of morals can only improve your viewing experience.

For those unaware of Meet the Feebles, the plot is rather simple, a troupe of Muppets is trying to put together one big television broadcast special, in the hopes of landing a syndicated series. But as the big day approaches a series of disasters threaten to ruin everything they’ve worked so hard for. Of course that also leaves out the sex addicted rabbit dying from AIDS, the massive drug ring that the show’s producer runs in the theatre’s back alley, or nasal sex, which sounds almost as disgusting as it actually is.

But the highlight of the film is the pinnacle song and dance number as a homosexual fox sings about his love for, you guessed it, sodomy, all while a manic depressive hippopotamus attempts to murder every performer with a machine gun, thus marking this as one of the Greatest Moments in Cinema History with a bullet.

Well I originally had a different film in mind for my next viewing, but considering the news broke today that Patrick Swayze had finally succumb to cancer* I thought it would be best to select one of the few films of his I hadn’t seen during my formative years. That film being the post-apocalyptic epic Steel Dawn. Why I haven’t watched a film with swords, martial arts and futuristic desert wastelands is beyond me, but hear me now, this oversight shall now be rectified!

*Don’t cry! Hold it back. Let it turn to something else. Just let it turn to something else, okay? Listen to me. Don’t cry. Don’t you ever cry again as long as you live. Never do it. Do you hear me? Let it turn to something else Mattie. Let it turn. Let it turn.**

** See Red Dawn for why this is genius.