I’ve been in a bit of a crime drama mood, so I figured it would be fitting that I watch a film that inspired both Quentin Tarantino and the Beastie Boys, and also will be horribly remade by Tony Scott, Denzel Washington and John Travoltae next year. I think everyone can agree that they would rather watch Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw instead, that is why next week I will be watching The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.

The young people of today may not realize just how scary the word Satanist used to be here in the United States. You see, being a Puritanical society most people had a fear of God. But if there was one thing that could scare them even more then God it was Satan. And thanks to Hollywood hits like The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby those fears were suddenly rationalized in celluloid.

Yes those kindly old neighbors are trying to stealthily allow Satan to rape you in your sleep. And yes, the reason your daughter has started cursing and crab walking everywhere is because she is possessed by a demon. And yes, that scary blind man constantly sitting in that chair in the attic is guarding the gateway to Hell.
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You know what this site needs? More Satanist movies to review. Perhaps one about a group of Satanists who can kill their enemies with the weather. Starring Ernest Borgnine as a Man-Ram. Or William Shatner as the overacting son of Ida Lupino. Or Tom Skerritt as a Hollywood hotshot who is too strung out to properly act. Maybe even toss in a cameo by a pre-Welcome Back, Kotter John Travolta. Yeah, this sounds perfect. This sounds like The Devil’s Rain.