“One day you are in your boat and you get attacked by zombie fish.”

Back when I worked at American Express I had a colleague who was as fascinated with zombies as I was. Much like Derek he was deathly afraid of the very concept of zombies and as such we would have deep philosophical discussions on the nature of the undead.

When we first heard that George Romero was making a new zombie film for the first time in twenty years we were quite excited at the prospect. I took it upon myself to track down a copy of the script and printed a copy out for the two of us to read, and within its pages came about a concept that afforded us hours of time wasting discussion.

The film, at the time still untitled but soon to be known as Land of the Dead, had an interesting, if somewhat throwaway scene that was to lead off the third act of the film. With zombies encroaching upon the city, an unknowing loan man on patrol stops for a quick smoke break under a bridge. As he stands there something stirs in the darkness. Soon it seems as if the entire underside of the bridge is shifting and as the man looks up a horde of zombie rats drop down upon him and quickly devour him whole.

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Evidently some people liked this movie, I did not. In fact, I would call it one of the worst horror films ever made, and because of that you now have the opportunity to win my copy of a movie that takes The Little Shop of Horrors seriously. Sounds awesome doesn’t it?

To enter you simply have to email me: matt.gamble at wherethelongtailends dot com

In the subject line write: Feed me Seymour!

Then simply  tell me why you liked this pile of excrement so that I know how to properly focus my rage in your general direction. Or simply lie and say you just want a free movie. Whichever seems most reasonable.

Contest ends July 31.

So here we are again and I have nothing to recommend for theaters this weekend. Hancock blows, I could care less about Kitt Kittredge and … wait a moment! Gonzo:The Life and Work of Dr Hunter S Thompson comes on this weekend. Go see that post haste. Whether you want to ingest three or four rogue narcotics and a bottle of ether before you watch it is entirely up to you.

DVD releases aren’t much better. The abominable The Ruins is the major release, and I can’t emphasize enough how much I hate hate hated that movie. Please don’t rent it or borrow it or, grrrr, buy it. It’s Little Shop of Horrors, but totally taking itself seriously.  Hopefully that blatant and unmarked spoiler totally ruined the film for you.

But their are several Independent releases coming out on DVD this week that might be interesting. The Tracy Fragments is a tiny Canadian (I think, don’t hold me to it) film that stars uber-annoy Ellen Page as some sort of smary, sassy, super intelligent girl who is always three or four steps ahead of every adult in the world. Well, it might not be, but since she’s played that role in every other film she’s been in I feel pretty comfortable on pigeonholing the film straight away.

Also out is the film Chop Shop, about a small boy living in the slums of New York. Don’t know much else but it has garnered some huge praise in spite of its very limited release.

And last, but certainly not least, is the documentary Joe Strummer: The Future is Unwritten. It covers Strummer’s life before, during and after The Clash as told by a gaggle of people much cooler then you plus Bono.

As always trailer are after the break!

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