Can we be honest with each other for a moment? I’m not much of a fan of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh sure I like the majority of songs, and the dance numbers aren’t half-bad and Meat Loaf makes anything awesome. Plus Tim Curry is a cinematic B-movie God and Riff Raff is a truly outstanding character. So yes, there is plenty to like about The Rocky Horror Picture Show even if I do think the whole thing is a bit overblown.

But lets be honest here. The movie loses serious steam by the third act as it desperately searches for a single decent joke or running gag to use with even minimal effectiveness. Plus Magenta creeps the hell out of me. But I think my biggest complaint about the film is that the fans, well, suck.

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Along with several staff members at my theater, we have recently decided that we are going to write up a variation of the “Laminate list”. The Laminate List goes by all sorts of different names, but is generally known as the list of 5 celebrities that one is allowed to sleep with. But rather then this be a list about sleeping with people, we decided that we wanted to make it more of a fan list styled phone tree. So that if one of your Top 5 celebrities happens to come into the theater and you are not working, you would get a phone call and be provided the opportunity to stop in to the theater and possibly actually get to meet them.

Now at most places of business this would be a completely frivolous list. More of a way to pass the time and ignore whatever it is you are supposed to be doing. But I work at a movie theater in a relatively major metropolitan city. Celebrities are actually a fairly regular occurrence here in Minneapolis. A handful call the area home, and countless others swing on buy during their various tours, press meetings, or even being paid to party at our nightclubs.

Unfortunately, of the three Landmark Theaters in town mine is by far the least hip and the furthest away from the cultural epicenter that is Uptown. Because of this our level of celebrities tends to be rather low. Sure we got Bai Ling that one time, but who hasn’t had her? Or then there was the time Ned Beatty hung out for an afternoon, which was cool, but he also did it in part because he was trying to get us to sell his new CD. Which, by the way, was entirely devoted to him singing Gospel songs. I’m pretty sure we still have a case of them lying around somewhere. But outside of that we haven’t garnered much higher then the Minneapolis Mayor or local Sportscaster Mark Rosen.

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