At first glance my watching Cutthroat Island might seem a bit out of place with the purported purpose of this website. My goal was to watch lesser known films, specifically films I knew nothing about going into them, in the hopes of finding the occasional gem as well as simply taking a few risks when compared to my standard movie watching habits. I’m as guilty of being selective as anyone else and this seemed like a fun way to test the cinematic waters. And, well, watching one of the biggest financial flops in film history certainly has its own brand of appeal. How often do you get to watch a movie that killed an entire genre of film?

The pirate film, as most probably know, had a long, rich and financially successful relationship with Hollywood since Hollywood’s inception. They would have been considered the “blockbuster” films of their day, at least in comparison to modern day films. Big stars, big sets, bigger production budgets and big, big profits. While over time the popularity of pirate films, and the assured giant box office takes, fluctuated within Hollywood, their were few genres considered as sure as a thing as the pirate film.

By the time Cutthroat Island was being made the pirate film’s greatest glories had long since passed. While they were still being produced with regularity, they hadn’t dominated at the box office in years. So, as production began on Cutthroat Island, word soon began to spread that it would mark a return to Hollywood’s Golden Age, a time when people of all ages could lose themselves in the wonder of the movies. Cutthroat Island, it was promised, would mark the first step of many to a new Hollywood Golden Age.

Even years later I still remember being inundated with the marketing push for Cutthroat Island. TV spots were everywhere, and I specifically remember all the television tabloids like Inside Edition and Access Hollywood offering numerous “exclusive” behind-the-scenes looks at the film. Geena Davis, whose star had steadily risen for years, was being pushed as the next Hollywood superstar, an actress who could excel in both dramatic and action roles. Her husband, and Cutthroat Island’s director, Renny Harlin, was being touted with equal fervor. As the next “it” action director. The press simply couldn’t get enough of this husband and wife duo battling to resurrect a cherished but slightly forgotten genre. Cutthroat Island quickly became a looming juggernaut. A Christmas film that simply could not fail. Would not fail. That is, until it failed. Rather spectacularly as it turns out.

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Unbeknownst to you my dear reader, James and I secretly recorded a podcast almost one month ago. It was meant to be a trial run before we recorded our first official podcast. So if you are a little confused by the episode numbering, don’t you worry, they should be far more coherent from now on, unlike say, James and my film commentary.

In this episode we discuss Terminator Salvation, D-Box technology, the new Star Trek reboot, HP Lovecraft influenced Netflix rubrics and of course, the two films we chose to watch and review for this particular episode. Those being And Then There Were None and 5 Dolls For an August Moon.

As you will quickly realize, we are still pretty rough around the edges, but I think this format has a great deal of potential. Feel free to leave any comments, critiques or suggestions to help improve the podcast. Hope you enjoy!

 Standard Podcast [71:17m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (143)

FROM THE JOURNAL OF DR. ABEL MERRIWETHER
16 AUGUST, 2008

It was in the spring of the year that I was first approached by the carrier of the following document. Having spent much of my retirement studying certain obscure and fabled tracts, such as the black tome known as The Necronomicon of Dr. Abdul Alhazred, it was with no small measure of excitement that I gained possession of the final copy of The Netflix Ratings Rubric. The messenger turned the papers over to me with a brief word of caution that I proceed with great care in any attempts I might make at understanding the original author’s haphazard and fumbling summation of his personal application of the Netflix ratings scheme.

At first I was skeptical. I had for some time read various reports in Internet newsgroups that a document such as the one now being offered me existed. I took the papers into my hand and offered the messenger something in the way of a reward for his diligence in having procured the papers I had for so long sought proof of. He refused and made a hasty retreat to his white Dodge Intrepid that was parked at the end of my driveway.

Over the next several months I made an attempt at translating the Rubric into the common vernacular, as well as penning my own reflections on the rather meandering logic exhibited by the author. I include my translation in this journal entry and hope to follow with my own testament to the authenticity of the documents.

The contents of the papers given to me by the mysterious messenger were as follows…

[FRAGMENT BEGINS]

Dearest Warren,

I hope that you are keeping well. Please find attached to this e-mail a copy of the most up-to-date version of my Netflix Ratings Rubric, as well as a brief forward regarding its origins. I hope that your university chums will find it edifying. It is in .docx format. I trust you will not have a problem opening it. If need be, I will gladly convert it to a .pdf file for you. Merely say the word!

Regards!

Jim!

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In a shameful display of power, I’ve decided that I am not going to review Deathtrap. Primarily because I really wasn’t into watching it, and because the film that has been sitting in my Netflix queue forever was finally sent out to me this week. That film is the Ozploitation horror classic Patrick from director Richard Franklin. I think after watching the trailer you will see why I have been so excited to watch it.

And since I have been dabbling in a lot of exploitation and b-movie films these past few weeks, I promise that the next film after Patrick will be a huge shift in tone and style. Some might even consider it artistic. Well, for a 1950′s war film anyways.

It’s not often that I find fault with Netflix. I’ve been a subscriber and unabashed fan of the service for over three years now and I am typically hard pressed to find something to quibble over when it comes to them. Oh sure there was that stretch of receiving cracked discs that was beyond frustrating, but due to the sheer ridiculous amount of them that occurred (at least six in a matter of just a few months) that I chalked the issue up to an overzealous mail carrier. Plus Netflix was so quick at sending out replacements that it was hard not to be impressed.

But there is one minor quirk that shows up from time to time that still can aggravate me. Since I live in Minneapolis I happen to be near a hub which results in some surprisingly quick turnaround times. Sometimes, too quick.

I’m not very diligent with my queue, and as a result I am often times moving a film into the number one (Ed note: Make it so!) position the day, or the day after, that I return a movie. But with turnaround times that are often less then a day, my number one (Ed note: Make it so!) selection is sometimes skipped because I have added it too late.

Such an incident occurred last week when my number one (Ed note: Make it so!) selection was skipped in favor of my number two selection, which just so happened to be Dario Argento’s Cat o’ Nine Tails.

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