The Most Dangerous Game is an outstanding film, not only because of how good the actual movie is, but because it presented a theme that has been rehashed again and again in various films ever since. That theme being class warfare. And not just metaphorically, but the actual hunting of the poor by rich individuals with simply too much time on their hands. The Most Dangerous Game has been remade so many times I’d challenge anyone to try and keep count. But rather then do that, I’ve done my best to try and find the worst remake of The Most Dangerous Game. It seemed more sporting that way. That’s why next week I am reviewing Escape 2000. Though our international readers might know it better by its original title, Turkey Shoot.

You probably haven’t noticed since the ad campaign hasn’t quite started up yet, but Picturehouse is releasing a remake of The Women, the 1939 film about a group of wealthy Manhattan socialites who have nothing better to do then talk about the men all the live long day. The remake is directed by Diane English and stars Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Eva Mendes, Debra Messing, Jada Pinkett Smith, Candice Bergen, Cloris Leachmen, Bette Midler, Carrie Fisher and seemingly every person in Hollywood who has a vagina. Hold on a minute Larry Wachowski and Eddie Izzard. It seems you still have some luggage that isn’t allowed to be carried on this set.

You see The Women is a movie that doesn’t have a single male in its cast, and when it was originally made in 1939 this was viewed as pretty progressive stuff. But with a plot that is entirely dependent on these women talking about the men in their lives as if they can’t do anything or go anywhere or talk about anything else except men, it now has the detrimental effect of making women look like shallow idiots who are incapable of being independent from the male members of their lives. And that isn’t all.

In a stunning display of idiocy that I can scarcely comprehend, who should play the role of Mary Haines, a woman who is struggling to recover from the news her husband is having an affair as her friends rush to her aid in a time of crisis, but none other then Meg Ryan. A woman who was publicly vilified for … wait for it … cheating on her husband Dennis Quaid with saucey Aussie Russell Crowe on the set of Proof of Life.

But it’s not like anyone will remember that right? Sure Meg Ryan utterly sunk her career as one of the biggest stars in Hollywood with that collosal blunder, and yes she totally fled the Hollywood scene in an attempt to not have to continually hear about her adulterous ways but I’m sure women have totally forgot about it by now. I mean, it is not like women are known for remembering such betrayal, and they certainly wouldn’t remind you over and over and over again about it to make sure you know that they know that you know that they know that Meg Ryan is a slut.

I mean, even the slightest measure of due diligence should have come to the conclusion that remaking The Women may not only not be a very good idea, but is just plain stupid.

The Women trailer

I don’t know if this has happened to other people, but I’ve been traumatized more then once by movies when I was a child. Now sure, most people will talk about how Poltergeist forever put them off clowns, but I’m trying to crawl into my past to point out some of the more ridiculous things that scared me as a child. And well, clowns were creepy to begin with. My own personal belief is that their painted on smiles trigger that ancient residual instinct from when we viewed teeth as a threat. But I am rambling.

The first time I ever had the pants scared off of me by a movie would have been around 1980. The event is still fresh in my mind, which probably means it is 100% inaccurate. It was early in the afternoon and my mom was at home. You see, is the distant past families were once able to survive on only one income. Quaint, to be sure. Nowadays people like that would most certainly be labeled lazy, a drain on society, or worse yet, Democrats. But I am rambling. (more…)