Normally I would have a long and completely unnecessary introduction before I dive into one of my reviews. I do this for several reasons, as primarily it provides me with an opportunity to write about whatever I choose and then hopefully find a novel way of tying it to the movie I watched and am reviewing. I like to think of it as flexing my creative muscles, but Anna pretty much thinks it is me showing off.

The other reason I write my reviews this way is because I want to use a style that is different then anything else you might have read. My experiences tie heavily into how I view a film, and by providing you the reader with insight into them it is my hope that it present you with a unique opportunity to see just what makes my brain tick. Or maybe not. It isn’t much more then a theory at this point.

But Starcrash is an entirely different animal then most of the other films I have watched for this site. For one, it stars David Hasselhoff, a man who I am powerless to resist. His very presence turns even the worst film or television show into an irresistible elixir. I knew going in to this screening there was no way I could ever hate this film, but what I was not expecting to endure what I could only describe as an utterly transcendent experience.

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I’ve always had a thing for remakes and sequels, remakes especially. While sequels almost inevitably attempt to re-create the same formula that was so successful in the original installment, with remakes you are opening a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. Sometimes you’ll get the exact same movie (Psycho), other times you will get something stylistically different but just as effective as the original (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), but on those extra special occasions you’ll get something not just wholly different but just as unique a creation as the original (The Bicycle Thief/Pee Wee’s Big Adventure). And one of my favorite childhood movies just happened to be a remake, only I didn’t know it at the time and the director refuses to acknowledge it as such, and that was Star Wars (The Hidden Fortress).

Show me a child of the 80’s that didn’t like Star Wars and I will show you a liar. While Star Wars captivated nearly everyone’s imagination it might as well have been crack cocaine to my adolescent brain. I was a junkie from the moment I saw that first Star Destroyer appear on screen. This addiction has followed me well into adulthood. I own the movies, the television shows, the television movies; I even have a copy of the infamous Holiday Special. I have posters and books and Japanese sculptures of several characters and I have the toys. Oh the toys, toys, toys. (more…)