I’m not quite sure how I never stumbled upon this video critique of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace until a few weeks ago, but I can now definitively state that upon watching it my life is now complete. Unlike most I don’t actually hate The Phantom Menace, that I reserve for Attack of the Clones, yet I still count the film as one of the colossal disappointments of my movie viewing life. Its a deeply flawed film, constantly mired in pointless characters and ponderous dialogue as it drowns you in plot. But it does have Darth Maul, which almost makes up for it. Almost.
But now a video review has come along of such epic nature and scope that it almost makes The Phantom Menace better by association. Probably because the reviewer may or may not be Buffalo Bill. The serial killer, not the circus performer.
Don’t believe me? Then perhaps you should watch it and see for yourself? Warning, this video is awesome yet also NSFW!
Recently I was having a conversation with a friend about the over saturation of zombies. Just when did they suddenly become cool? You seemingly can’t go more then a few weeks nowadays without running into a new zombie film out at the theatre, and zombie themed books are cropping up all over the place. Oh sure Jane Austen could probably use a couple of brain munching ghouls to spice up the prose, but what the heck are zombies doing in my Star Wars Universe?
But sure enough, just a few days after taking this stance my opinion was shaken with news that a zombie themed bar was opening up in North Minneapolis. Not just zombie themed, but inspired by Shaun of the Dead. As if that isn’t enough, the owner of the bar is Leslie Bock, probably best known for owning Saint Sabrina’s and the outstanding biker tiki bar Psycho Suzi’s. If anyone can pull of this kind of a drinking hole, its Bock.
As noted by the Star Tribune, these are some of the more interesting “accoutrements” of the new Donny Dirk’s Zombie Den.
•The floor is covered with casino-grade tiger-striped carpeting. Ridiculous.
• The walls feature brown, custom-made smoked mirrors. “Very hard to find, I might add,” Bock said.
• All of the booths and bar stools are covered in plush Vegas-style tufted vinyl.
• There are three deer heads (one was already there; she added the others for good measure).
• Hanging above the bar is a green neon sign that reads, “Undead Frank Lives.”
• Frank’s legend also lives on in one of the “specialty” drinks, a $3.75 humdinger called R.I.P. Frank (basically a shot of liquor on ice). If you want something a little fancier, try the Donny Dirk signature cocktail, which is the bar’s version of a chocolatey Alexander.
• This week, the bartenders began offering the “Weird Science” interactive cocktail, which is a drink you design yourself. Bock compares it to raiding your parents’ liquor cabinet as a kid. You write down the liquors on a note card, the bartender mixes it, you pay for it. If you like it, they’ll keep your card on file for the next time you come in.
Now if you will excuse me, I need to grab my cricket bat, some electro and head on over to the north side.
I don’t put forth much effort to hide the fact that I love genre films. I do this for several reasons, though primarily it is simply to weed out those who do not like them. I have no problem personally if someone doesn’t enjoy them, far too frequently genre films rarely attempt to cross over and gain new fans, but if someone doesn’t like genre fare I immediately know whether or not we will have somewhat comparable taste in movies. Genre films are the anchor in which all of my film interests are held together by, and I am rather proud of that.
Now my particular kryptonite of which I am powerless to resist are science fiction films. While Star Wars is probably primarily to blame, their certainly were plenty of other science fiction franchises indoctrinating my toddler brain. Since that time, if your film had a hint of futuristic technology, machines dealing with their own developing Artificial Intelligence, or even alien populated cantina bands I have probably already watched the film at one point or another.
Being a child of the 1980’s meant I was able to gorge on these types of films on a weekly basis, as the only genre seemingly more numerous was the one involving one or both of the two Coreys. But as I watched these movies, it became increasingly easy to forget just which movies I had watched as I rocketed through the genre. And all too often, I would watch a film I loved and then lose it to antiquity because I wasn’t making any effort to record which films I loved and which I didn’t.
This is the tale of one such relic, lost to the celluloid aisles, seemingly, forevermore.
Normally I would have a long and completely unnecessary introduction before I dive into one of my reviews. I do this for several reasons, as primarily it provides me with an opportunity to write about whatever I choose and then hopefully find a novel way of tying it to the movie I watched and am reviewing. I like to think of it as flexing my creative muscles, but Anna pretty much thinks it is me showing off.
The other reason I write my reviews this way is because I want to use a style that is different then anything else you might have read. My experiences tie heavily into how I view a film, and by providing you the reader with insight into them it is my hope that it present you with a unique opportunity to see just what makes my brain tick. Or maybe not. It isn’t much more then a theory at this point.
But Starcrash is an entirely different animal then most of the other films I have watched for this site. For one, it stars David Hasselhoff, a man who I am powerless to resist. His very presence turns even the worst film or television show into an irresistible elixir. I knew going in to this screening there was no way I could ever hate this film, but what I was not expecting to endure what I could only describe as an utterly transcendent experience.
I’ve always had a thing for remakes and sequels, remakes especially. While sequels almost inevitably attempt to re-create the same formula that was so successful in the original installment, with remakes you are opening a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. Sometimes you’ll get the exact same movie (Psycho), other times you will get something stylistically different but just as effective as the original (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), but on those extra special occasions you’ll get something not just wholly different but just as unique a creation as the original (The Bicycle Thief/Pee Wee’s Big Adventure). And one of my favorite childhood movies just happened to be a remake, only I didn’t know it at the time and the director refuses to acknowledge it as such, and that was Star Wars (The Hidden Fortress).
Show me a child of the 80’s that didn’t like Star Wars and I will show you a liar. While Star Wars captivated nearly everyone’s imagination it might as well have been crack cocaine to my adolescent brain. I was a junkie from the moment I saw that first Star Destroyer appear on screen. This addiction has followed me well into adulthood. I own the movies, the television shows, the television movies; I even have a copy of the infamous Holiday Special. I have posters and books and Japanese sculptures of several characters and I have the toys. Oh the toys, toys, toys. (more…)
Normally I would have a long and completely unnecessary introduction before I dive into one of my reviews. I do this for several reasons, as primarily it provides me with an opportunity to write about whatever I choose and then hopefully find a novel way of tying it to the movie I watched and am reviewing. I like to think of it as flexing my creative muscles, but Anna pretty much thinks it is me showing off.
I’ve always had a thing for remakes and sequels, remakes especially. While sequels almost inevitably attempt to re-create the same formula that was so successful in the original installment, with remakes you are opening a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. Sometimes you’ll get the exact same movie (
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