There are worlds that man should fear to tread. Worlds that man should never see. But in spite of these warnings, several years ago I found myself trapped in a horrifying otherworldly dimension; the women’s restroom at Target in Downtown Minneapolis.

Unlike most Targets the Target in Downtown Minneapolis is two stories tall, making it a bit of an engineering marvel for those of us used to the standard storefront footprint. Now the store really is no different then any other, merely cut in half and stacked on top of one another. But there is something about it that draws people to it. I will say this though; the specially designed escalator for the shopping carts is pretty darn impressive.

But as much as I would like to keep the focus on the physical structure of a big box retailer in a blatant attempt at diverting attention from my terrible decision making skills and inability to pay attention to my surroundings. You see, I left my companion with the simple plan of meeting up a few minutes later in the toy aisle, yet due to my inattentiveness I would not be seen or heard from for over a half hour.

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I decided several weeks ago that I would get into the Halloween spirit by reviewing a horror film next week. So I did careful research and selected an interesting unknown Czech horror film that looked rather promising, but somewhere along the way I decided that I was possibly over thinking things. Sure a film that blends live actions with stop-motion animation as it delves into the struggle with sanity while delving into works by the Marquis de Sade and Edgar Allen Poe sounds deliciously fascinating and horrific, but this is Halloween we are talking about.

So I scratched that previous film (Don’t worry, it will be back) in favor of something a bit more fitting, gore. Specifically gore is direct relation to an HP Lovecraft film. And what goes better with HP Lovecraft then Stuart Gordon and Jeffrey Combs? That is why next week I will be reviewing From Beyond.

It is weekends like this one that almost make me wish for the simpler time when maybe one good movie was released in theaters. As it so happens, this weekend their is enough interesting movies being released that I won’t possibly be able to watch all of them. Especially if my girlfriend continues her obsession with Jack Black and drags me to some movie about Pandas.

But for those of us who will once again be avoiding the multiplexes? First up is the documentary Bigger, Stronger, Faster which focuses on the steroid culture that seems to be pervading our culture here in the US. It is a fascinating film that examines the true side effects of steroids as well as the moral arguments for and against using steroids. I highly recommend it.

Next is the French thriller Roman de Gare, which unfortunately has one of the worst trailers you will ever see, punctuated by the terrible American voice over so that English speaking audiences won’t be scarred off by the thought of actually having to read subtitles during a movie.

Or maybe if you don’t want to watch a documentary or French thriller you can watch Stuart Gordon’s latest masterpiece, Stuck. Word of warning, it is incredibly gory as well as being incredibly good, which shouldn’t come as much of a shock to Re-Animator fans. If you can handle Stephen Rea’s fibula jutting out of his leg for 45 minutes, you must go see this movie.

Finally we get to the movie I am most excited about this weekend, The Foot Fist Way. I have been addicted to the trailer for a good solid three months and now I finally get the chance to see it. It will be awesome. Word of warning the trailer is totally not safe for work.

As for DVD’s there are two that, at the very least, are worth renting. These movies are The Grand and The Signal. The Grand has the distinction of being the first film to be mentioned in Rummaging through the Old Maids as both a feature film release to watch and now as a DVD to watch. So that must mean it is good.

The Signal is an interesting horror film experiment involving three directors who decided to each film one act of the film. It results in some fairly drastic style changes during the course of the movie, but the film still manages to be both unique and interesting even with the occasional hiccups.

As always trailers are after the break!

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