So I found out early yesterday afternoon that my theatrical pick this week, Fears of the Dark, was dropped from the release schedule. According to our buyer the film might still be released in December, but for now it is totally off the booking sheet, which is an ominous sign.

Evidently the film simply didn’t do very well in other markets (ie New York and Los Angeles) so the decision was made to ax the film instead of releasing it. This in spite of the heavy promotion it has received at all three Landmark Theatres (The Uptown, Lagoon and The Edina) over the past few months. It is pretty rare that a film that has been this heavily invested in by our company will be so unceremoniously dropped. It has happened before, but Fears of the Dark is the first one that I can recall that was dropped after being promoted at all three theatres.

But what really got my goat was when I discovered what Fears of the Dark was being replaced with at The Lagoon, that being Quantum of Solace. Now the decision to play Quantum of Solace at The Lagoon had been made several months ago, and one that has plenty of regulars irked ever since Landmark decided to have both The Dark Knight and Mamma Mia play on two screens this past summer.

Now The Dark Knight is at least defensible, as it made massive amounts of money all across the land and The Lagoon was relatively slow at the time, but Mamma Mia? But bunlike the rest of the world, both ended up doing rather mediocre business at The Lagoon, even the vaunted Dark Knight, and early signs are that Quantum of Solace won’t meet expectations either.

But what is most frustrating, is that Quantum of Solace is on two screens. That means the largest theatre chain in the US that is dedicated to Independent film simply dropped a foreign Independent film for a second screen of the massively mainstream James Bond. It was strictly financial decision, and one that had already backfired at this location in the past, to ax a film that had been garnering decent buzz from their regular clientel just so they could possibly draw in crowds for a film that is decidedly different from the rest of their yearly fare.

Do the expect those customers who come to see Quantum of Solace to return for other films?

Do they expect their regulars to be excited about losing an impressive looking Independent film just so Quantum of Solace can be shown every hour?

I know what my decision is. I won’t be watching Quantum of Solace. Not at The Lagoon, or anywhere else for that matter.

And if anyone else is as bothered by this as I am, feel free to visit landmarktheatres.com and let them know what you think.

I dare you.

Finally a week in which I have plenty of options to choose from! The last several have left me grasping at straws in order to supply even a halfway decent recommendation, both DVD releases and theatrical releases are giving me a few options to pass on.

In theaters this week is the latest work of genius from Charlie Kaufman, Synecdoche, New York, which I’m sure will leave everyone scratching their heads while simultaneously praising it. So you know, a typical Charlie Kaufman film, only this time on a far grander scale.

As for DVD releases I had a bit more of a struggle in trying to choose which film to recommend. As you can probably imagine Hellboy II: The Golden Army was calling to me, but while I loved Hellboy II, I have instead decided to go in another direction and select a film I haven’t seen yet, and no one else has either. This particular film has taken seven years to make, and is just beginning to make a run as a midnight movie here in the US, and for those of you living in the Minneapolis metro area, you will be able to see it at The Uptown Theatre on November 22nd. It should be a great midnight show, so hopefully you will be in attendance. But for those of you who can’t wait, The Flaming Lips: Christmas on Mars will be released on DVD this Tuesday.

As always trailers are after the break!

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Along with several staff members at my theater, we have recently decided that we are going to write up a variation of the “Laminate list”. The Laminate List goes by all sorts of different names, but is generally known as the list of 5 celebrities that one is allowed to sleep with. But rather then this be a list about sleeping with people, we decided that we wanted to make it more of a fan list styled phone tree. So that if one of your Top 5 celebrities happens to come into the theater and you are not working, you would get a phone call and be provided the opportunity to stop in to the theater and possibly actually get to meet them.

Now at most places of business this would be a completely frivolous list. More of a way to pass the time and ignore whatever it is you are supposed to be doing. But I work at a movie theater in a relatively major metropolitan city. Celebrities are actually a fairly regular occurrence here in Minneapolis. A handful call the area home, and countless others swing on buy during their various tours, press meetings, or even being paid to party at our nightclubs.

Unfortunately, of the three Landmark Theaters in town mine is by far the least hip and the furthest away from the cultural epicenter that is Uptown. Because of this our level of celebrities tends to be rather low. Sure we got Bai Ling that one time, but who hasn’t had her? Or then there was the time Ned Beatty hung out for an afternoon, which was cool, but he also did it in part because he was trying to get us to sell his new CD. Which, by the way, was entirely devoted to him singing Gospel songs. I’m pretty sure we still have a case of them lying around somewhere. But outside of that we haven’t garnered much higher then the Minneapolis Mayor or local Sportscaster Mark Rosen.

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I had the perfect setting for my screening of Vampyr, then life had to go and ruin it. See, the girlfriend was going to visit her parents in Brainerd this weekend. Since I don’t have weekends off I can’t afford to go see her family as often as she does, so it means that essentially once a month I get a Bachelor’s Weekend. (Ed. Note – Bachelor’s Weekend! Whoo!) In an effort to allay her fears that I will get drunk and bring home Puerto Rican hitchhikers to have carnal relations with I will typically pick up some extra hours on Bachelor’s Weekend (Ed. Note – Bachelor’s Weekend! Whoo!) to limit my free time and maximize my productivity.

One of the shifts I picked up was working crowd control Saturday at The Uptown theater for their midnight showing of The Disco Dolls in Hot Skin; a 1976 X-rated pornographic film starring John Holmes shot in 3-D. For whatever reason, 3-D 70’s porn are pretty popular screenings here in the Twin Cities. Those in attendance that are above the legal viewing age tend to be rowdy and drunk, and even worse, traveling in packs. But the primary reason I was brought in was to throw out anyone under age who was trying to sneak in the theater.

Now most people think that the best thing about working at a movie theater is the free movies. Some might choose the free popcorn and soda. Others are impressed with the celebrity meetings or the readily available swag. Now these are all great perks that help off-set the menial salary and the too often insanely anal retentive client base, but I am here to tell you the greatest perk in working at a movie theater is kicking out teenagers.

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