The young people of today may not realize just how scary the word Satanist used to be here in the United States. You see, being a Puritanical society most people had a fear of God. But if there was one thing that could scare them even more then God it was Satan. And thanks to Hollywood hits like The Exorcist and Rosemary’s Baby those fears were suddenly rationalized in celluloid.

Yes those kindly old neighbors are trying to stealthily allow Satan to rape you in your sleep. And yes, the reason your daughter has started cursing and crab walking everywhere is because she is possessed by a demon. And yes, that scary blind man constantly sitting in that chair in the attic is guarding the gateway to Hell.
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You know what sucks? Moving. You know what sucks more then moving? Unpacking. Sure moving during a snowstorm was annoying and unpleasant. But this eternal shuffling of boxes and furniture from room to room is unbearable. It starts out innocuous enough, boxes go in the rooms in which they designated until everything is unloaded and in the apartment. Then the insanity happens.

You start unpacking in the kitchen because you are hungry, only to discover the cabinets are too small to hold any of your pans. Or maybe your oven is from the 1950′s and is larger then a Cadillac, yet for some reason seems to not have a pilot light anywhere for the oven, thus effectively tying your dinner preparation to only the stove top. But why just the stove top? Surely you have a microwave you can use? Well, it seems the architects who designed this building in 1920 didn’t have microwave’s in mind, and thus decided to wire four of the five rooms onto one circuit, leading to a fuse being blown every time one tries to nuke a burrito. I’ve been here seven days and already have gone through three fuses. It’s a race to see who comes out on top!

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