While I’m not exactly a fan of Zack Snyder’s films, his personal brand of razor thin plotting and fast-paced action just might make for a stellar children’s film, which is exactly what Legend of the Guardians looks like it might be.

I know next to nothing about the series of books it was based on, or what the heck the film is about, but I must admit, I’m a sucker for epic fantasy films starring animals. Dare I dream that this will be as good as Watership Down?

Tags: Action, animals, children's film, epic fantasy, Fantasy, fantasy film, film, films, Legend of the Guardians, movie, owls, secret of nimh, trailer, Watership Down, Zack Snyder

Sadly, this is probably the most accurate critique on the film to be found. Why couldn’t Zack Snyder have made some other comic book into a movie, instead of mucking up Watchmen? Good Lord I hope they don’t give him Ronin. Though with our luck he’ll get Maus and unleash Ragnarök upon us all. What a bastard.

The Amazing Double Interlocking Polaroid System 3D Film Festival
Starts March 6
Parkway Theater

There’s nothing quite like those red-and-blue goggles that make those pictures pop onscreen. Well get ready for two weeks of jaw-dropping, mind-bending 1950s 3-D at the Parkway Theater. Six classics of the heyday of 3-D – including Hitchock’s Dial M for Murder and Vincent Price classics The Mad Magician and House of Wax – will be shown in double interlocking Polaroid 3D projection. Individual tickets are $10, and a full festival pass is $50. For a complete listing of films and show times, visit www.theparkwaytheater.com.

The Black Balloon
Starts March 6
Edina Cinema

Toni Collette stars in a heart-warming family drama from writer/director Elissa Down. Thomas is just trying to fit into a new town. His mother is pregnant, so he has been put in charge of his older autistic brother Charlie. With the help of his new girlfriend, Thomas is able to face his feelings about his brother and himself. Also starring Rhys Wakefield, Luke Ford, Erik Thomson, and Gemma Ward.

Cherry Blossoms
Starts March 6
Lagoon Cinema

German filmmaker Doris Dörrie (How to Cook Your Life) takes viewers on a tender and profound journey through the strength of marital love. When Trudi (Hannelore Elsner) discovers that her husband Rudi (Elmar Wepper) is terminally ill, she decides to keep it from him and show him the beautiful things in life. She tells Rudi to visit their son in Japan, where a cherry blossom festival is taking place. Winner of the Golden Space Needle Award for Best Film at the Seattle International Film Festival. Cherry Blossoms premieres at the Lagoon Cinema for a one-week run.

The Last Dragon
Saturday, March 7 at midnight
Uptown Theater

The awesome 80s burst back onto the big screen, thanks to Midnight Madness at the Uptown. The Last Dragon, executive produced by Berry Gordy, tells the story of a young man (Taimak) who’s searching for his martial arts master while fighting the odds and protecting a beautiful young nightclub hostess (Vanity.) Gospel Gossip performs live before the screening, which will make you long for the days of the 80s – or be glad they’re long gone.

Universal Noir: The Blue Dahlia and The Glass Key
Monday, March 9 at 7:30 p.m.
Heights Theater

Take Up Productions and Heights Theatre’s Universal Noir series continues with an Alan Ladd/Veronica Lake double feature. In The Blue Dahlia, three buddies return home to Hollywood from the war – but they’re in for a rude homecoming. The Glass Key tells of a crooked politician who decides to give up his past ways and team with an honest candidate for an ongoing election. An $8.00 ticket is good for both films, and tickets can be purchased online at www.heightstheater.com.

Watchmen
Starts March 6
Lagoon Cinema

After decades of waiting, fans of the Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons masterpiece can finally be the ones watching the Watchmen. Set in an alternate 1985 where Richard Nixon is still president, Watchmen follows a group of complicated costumed heroes spurned by the people they’ve sworn to protect. When one of their kind is murdered, Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) uncovers a plot to eliminate all superheroes. He reconnects with his former colleagues – including the beautiful Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman), the impotent Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson), and the genuinely powerful Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) – he catches onto a vast conspiracy that could lead to disaster. Directed by Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead, 300.)

Everything Bad is Good For You

With the difficulty in modern literature finding an audience, it is no wonder that classic literature is having an even more difficult time connecting with readers. Results from marketing research performed by Orion Group publishing were “near-unanimous” in revealing that people thought classic literature to be “long, slow and repetitive” and “many respondents admitted to having an interest in the stories when they had come upon them in another way, like watching a TV adaptation or film that brought alive the story and characters.”

This lead to Orion to consider publishing condensed versions of classic literature:

“Literally, life is too short. Once you get to a certain place in your life, you realize that there is a finite number of books you’re going to be able to read,” [Malcom] Edwards [of Orion] says. He admits to “bouncing off” Moby Dick several times, even though the whaling, the quest and the biblical aspects of the book all sound appealing. Would he have had more success with a shorter, snappier version?

The condensing of classic literature can be seen as a beginning. How long will it be until modern literature is viewed as being slow or repetitive? Already English teachers are using film at some point “as a replacement for a long text, or as a supplement to a written text or thematic unit.” How long before teachers exclusively use movies as an alternative experience of the text, especially when taking into account the finite amount of classes and the seemingly infinite amount of available material? How long before the idea of the text becomes just as important – if not more – as the text itself? (more…)